“I felt one with everything, without any sense of separation; I was simply this feeling of life.”From El refugio del corazón
I arrived at that seminar with no wish to seek anything. I was fed up with seeking, and I nearly stayed home. And yet it was there, with a single question, that my heart opened.
I am telling you this to encourage you to make it possible for yourself. What happened that day was very simple.
Tired of seeking
I had spent many years in Asia meditating, going from one teacher to another, from one practice to another. There came a point when I was tired of that search.
A friend had told me about Nick Arjuna, and Nick and I had written to each other several times. When I went back to my mother’s house in the United States, Nick was giving a seminar in Miami. I wanted to go and meet him, but the organizer told me I could not attend: it was for very advanced people. I wrote to Nick to let him know.
The night before
That night, already lying in bed at my mother’s house, I began to feel myself separating from my body and becoming the witness of the whole scene. I saw the room, then the whole house, and then far beyond, until I understood that everything was inside me.
The next day I simply opened my eyes, and it was already morning. I had no memory of having returned to my body.
The simplest question
It was my birthday. That morning, while I was watching television, an email came from Nick: he wanted to meet me, and he was personally inviting me to the seminar.
I hesitated. I did not want to seek anything else, least of all in another teacher. But Nick had been very kind to me and had truly taken an interest in helping me. So I went.
When I arrived, people were talking about how many years they had been seeking and which techniques they practiced. I felt like a spiritual seeker, and that was exactly what I no longer wanted to be.
Then Nick asked us to do an exercise in pairs. We had to ask each other a question, the simplest of all:
Tell me about the one who is looking.
At that very instant, before I could form an answer, I felt my heart open. There was nothing to understand and nothing to think about. It was obvious, natural and flowing, like the waves of the sea: I Am That. I always have been.
Innocent laughter
Seconds later I could not hold back, and I began to laugh. The others looked at me, surprised by my bursts of laughter. The only words coming out of my mouth were innocent ones:
“It can’t be this simple.”
Nick came over, understanding what was happening to me. And all I could do was repeat the same thing: it can’t be this simple. I felt stupid, to be honest. Even so, the force of the heart opening was more intense than anything my mind could say.
This is so simple, so plain, that the mind cannot grasp it. There is innocence here, purity. Only that. In fact, to the mind this sounds strange, unreliable, suspicious.
A volcano in the heart
That night I began to feel an indescribable release at the level of my heart. It was like a volcano erupting inside me, and I could not stop it. The energy rose from the depths of my heart. I sensed that it was the energy of that illusory being that used to be there: all the ideas and concepts with which I had built a spiritual superego, a spiritual version of myself, full of experiences. The more it was released, the wider the mouth of the volcano opened.
I felt very present. The next morning I noticed a great change in the core of my personality: it was fading away, and I was only watching it. It was Consciousness itself taking the reins. That silent presence never left my life again.
That day I went back to the seminar, more out of gratitude to Nick than to look for anything. At one point we looked at each other, and I saw a great transparency through him, and he saw it through me. I was simply recognizing my being in him, and he was recognizing his being in me. We are one single being. It is the ego that creates division.
What was always there
Although all my hours of meditation led me to many mystical experiences, today I tell you that they are not necessary for your realization. You will not have to travel all over the world to meet dozens of gurus. Nor will you need vast knowledge; on the contrary, the less you know, the fewer assumptions you will make trying to turn the simple into something complicated.
The moment to stop seeking always comes to the human soul, and then you realize that you are standing before the presence of God. At that point the spiritual exploration must come to an end.
Remember that it is God’s grace that will lead you there. I do not know how it will come to you. It may be while watching a leaf fall from a tree, in the presence of a master, or by asking a simple question, as happened to me. Even the fall of a grain of sand can awaken you. That could happen to any of us.
The only thing you will find is the certainty that it is just as you feel it: the Being through which you observe is the same one through which you were given life. In this way you will go from doubt to certainty. And the longer you remain in that relationship, the more obvious it will be. If this is the first time you are hearing about this, you have two choices: let this reading pass you by, or put it into practice to establish that relationship, until it becomes obvious to you that your true nature is consciousness.
What you are is neither far away nor hidden. It is the one who is looking, right now. And when you recognize it, perhaps you too will laugh with innocence.
From Dr. Zuluan Orion's books: El refugio del corazón · Deshojando el Corazón de la Eternidad · Illumination