“That is why the next step is to love the unlovable, penetrating the dark layers of our thought forms, recognizing archetypes, emotions and all the other things hidden in our soul.”From El refugio del corazón
When you were a child, you had no sense of ownership. The furniture and the things in the house belonged to your family. As we grow up, we begin to have the idea that things belong to us, and so we start to love what we believe is ours. We even turn the people we love into objects.
And what about everything else, everything you do not consider yours? And what you say is yours, do you truly love it? It is probably not true love, but an emptiness we are desperately trying to fill when we are disconnected from our essence.
We were taught to love with conditions
We learned to love only what is ours and what the mind considers right. We tell children who deserves their love and, above all, who does not. We grow up believing that love is hidden behind achievements and rewards: if you behave well, you get a present. From a young age we are conditioned to feel worthy of our parents’ love only when we behave the way they expect, as if love were a prize given in exchange for something. In this way we train the soul to seek the reward, but we are not taught to love the simplest things in life.
We were created as an extension of universal Love. The true purpose of the soul is to be the keeper of the Universe: we are the caretakers who came to love and sustain life. But once we are domesticated, we forget how to love our surroundings and those who make them up.
What is hard for us to love
As humans, we always reject what is not desirable, what is hard for us to accept or transform. That is why we live wishing for a different existence, a different time, another environment, another place. In this way the mind keeps all the power, and that ends up being the main cause of our disconnection from the Being.
We came into this world to love life as it is, but we were taught that doing so is a weakness. We do not know how to love the limitations of our character, our difficulties in relating to others or what we dislike about our appearance. We are always fighting against all of it, and the idea of loving it never even crosses our minds.
We need to learn to love the moment, to love what causes us pain, to love our limitations, our body just as it is, our environment just as it is, our world. And above all, to love everything we are unable to accept. Only then will we be able to transform our lives.
Often, in the spiritual life, we wear ourselves out trying to force our attention in order to reach subtler levels of consciousness, and we forget about ourselves. But it is precisely our humanity that opens the door to the highest expression of love: being able to flow through what is dense and to love it. That is what allows us to love our own pain and all the limitations that come with living incarnate.
It is your own limitations that make you feel incomplete, and the only enlightened guru capable of filling those gaps is the one who appears on your ID. You do not need to embellish that raw, everyday version of yourself in order to grow. Start by loving and embracing what you already are: someone who suffers, sleeps, gets tired, has certain limitations and a particular character.
Did they take your love with them?
Perhaps, as you read these words, you are going through some kind of grief. We were programmed to love only what we believe is ours, and that is why we are capable of going from love to hate in the blink of an eye when what we love slips through our fingers. If someone has left your side, I ask you: did they take your love with them?
It is tough, I know. But when I tell you to love what is hard to love, I do not mean the person who left you, but everything that arises within you as a result of what happened. Sadness, pain, anger, resentment or hate breathe in you and are born in your consciousness. Your mind will tell you everything you lost and how badly that person treated you, but your mind and your Being are two different things.
When you cannot love
When I ask you to love everything that arises within you, I am not referring to the conscious act of having feelings about it. You cannot love injustice or cruelty, but you can love your pain. The love I am talking about is deeply spiritual. When you reach the point of being unable to love something, a door opens to the Universe, at a much deeper level, so that He can love and transform on your behalf.
When adversity comes, we only need to accept what is causing us pain. Once that becomes possible, we surrender to life so that it flows through us and allows us to love the unlovable. Your best friend is the universal Father-Mother, and all you have to do is invite Him into your life, so that He can permeate it with His transcendental love, which is capable of changing everything.
When painful moments come, surrender, begin to look within and allow universal love and divine consciousness to love on your behalf. You simply become the vehicle through which love flows, the portal for Him to enter and change everything your humanity is going through. This is a relationship built with devotion, with faith and with surrender.
Another’s pain
To love like this is to integrate: to fan your light toward all the dark sides of your being, toward everything you are. And it does not end with you. Total, complete happiness will come when all beings are happy, because they are all an extension of you. You could not speak of absolute happiness while someone is in pain: when you are in unity with everything, another’s pain also becomes part of you.
Understanding this will make you sensitive to the pain of others. That is why it is so important to bring light to the parts of your being where there is suffering.
We are human, capable of making mistakes and exposed to pain and suffering on so many levels, but none of that defines your level of spiritual development. It is precisely through this human context that your soul is able to learn, to generate light and to acquire the ability to hold its center.
Start with yourself
When you expect someone to love you, first ask yourself whether you are loving yourself enough. We expect everyone to love us, but how could that be possible if we are incapable of loving ourselves? When you seek acceptance from your family and your social circle through material things, it will be impossible for you to feel love, because you will be making everything conditional on the acceptance of others.
Accept everything you are rejecting. See yourself with your limitations, just as you are. When you open yourself to the love of the universal Father-Mother, you allow it to flow through you with a deep, refined and subtle strength, and one of His divine aspects holds what is hard for you to love.
From Dr. Zuluan Orion's books: Illumination · El refugio del corazón · Deshojando el Corazón de la Eternidad